By LeeAnn Bernier-Clarke MEd, NCC, NCCC

Time: 5 to 10 Minutes

What Will My Child Get From This?

• A method of calming anxiety, which can be used in a variety of situations

Before you sit down with your child:

• Read Dealing with Test Anxiety
• Go over the relaxation process several times and tape yourself
• Listen to your tape and follow the relaxation directives
• You may change or modify your tape to achieve a more peaceful or personally relevant relaxation journey

Step by Step

1. Tell your teen that you've noticed they really seem to be stressed, invite them to talk about it and ask how you can help
2. Suggest trying something different that might help them to relax and ask them to sit or lie down in a comfortable position and follow the instructions you are about to give
3. In a calm, slow voice begin the following relaxation exercise:
4. Close your eyes and breathe in slowly as I count 1...2...3. Now breathe out 1...2...3. Breathe in 1...2...3 and out 1...2...3. In 1...2...3 and out 1...2...3
5. Now squeeze your eyes and mouth, and tighten all of your facial muscles
6. Pull your chin into your chest and draw your shoulders close in together
7. Now pull your arms in close to your body, tighten your arm muscles and draw your hands into fists
8. Tighten the muscles, first in your stomach, then your bottom, thighs and calves
9. Keeping your legs straight and tight while you point your toes up towards your face and hold to the count of 1...2...3, breathing in slowly 1...2...3 and out 1...2...3
10. Take another deep breath and, as you exhale, relax your muscles in your toes first, then your calves, thighs, bottom, stomach, shoulders, neck and face
11. Now imagine yourself in a quiet, peaceful place, like by a beach or a mountain stream. (If you've been to such a place together, ask your teen to recall that place)
12. Imagine and enjoy all of the sights, sounds, smells and feelings you associate with this peaceful place. (Here you may describe some of the sensations)
13. Continue breathing deeply, keep your eyes closed and enjoy the quiet moment
14. This is your place of peace. Stay as long as you like and come back whenever you want

Follow-Up Activities

• Offer your teen the tape you made so they can practice the relaxation exercise whenever they would like to escape and calm down
• Suggest they make their own tape
• Eventually they will be able to take themselves through this exercise spontaneously whenever they're feeling anxious, like right before a test